I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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