my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
