so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
