you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize