No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
