You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
