Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
