why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
