Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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