Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
