Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
