Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
