I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
