I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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