Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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