I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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