Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
