Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
