I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
