I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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