Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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