Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
