Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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