When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
