oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
