I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
