I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
