In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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