worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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