Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
