spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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