the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
