thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
