I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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