dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
