So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
