Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you win again, gameday.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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