she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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