Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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