apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
