check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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