I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Pooping to opera.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
