i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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