god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
