note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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