glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
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While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
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I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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