i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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