he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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