nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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