we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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