im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
