i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
