Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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