the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
