This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
