I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize