this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
