Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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