Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
