Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
