Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
