Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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