I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
